Ten years on and look at me now..... Who would have guessed that in October 2008 I had brain surgery to remove a Brain Tumor. It still feels a bit unreal to be honest that it was me in the photographs. Starting back at the camera with hollow eyes and I can still feel to this day the extent of that sadness because when I look at this photograph I am lost. To explain that pain is too raw for me and doesn't serve anyone but just knowing that it was there was enough to drive me forward on the start of what I though would be a short journey but became longer and longer with the realisation of the extent of my disability.
It is so important to take time to acknowledge loss and trauma and pain. The destruction comes when we hold onto this and are unable or unwilling to let it go and trust that we can move forwards, continually checking that we can still access the events and jumping back into the emotional feelings will not get your out of your depression, loss, trauma or victim status but will just continually pull you back.
Almost immediately after my surgery I began to learn about how important my thoughts were and the strength of my brain, feelings and emotions and how I could tap into these areas of my life and make positive significant changes. Changes that would bring me results and not leave me feeling stuck and looking for excuses to stay where I was. Where I could laugh instead of cry when I fell over telling myself that I was one step closer to standing up.
Let me tell you a story if I may that will demonstrate how when we change the way we think about a situation we can get the answers to our problems:
I was lying in Kings College Hospital London, I had woken up with a strange splint on my left leg pumping air in and out to keep the blood moving in my left leg. Disorientated and in shock I was unable to move my left leg and my side, speak properly, write properly or understand just what was going on. I had a really dodgey hair cut by the way and looked like Lou out of Little Britain (those of you who know will know). I was on massive amounts of Steroids and pain relief and morphine and had no idea how I was ever going to recover from having just had Brain Surgery to remove a very large Meningioma Brain Tumor. My life as I had known it the day before was no longer there. I had to now find a way to move forwards. It was going to be a long road and I was frightened, desperate, lonely and vulnerable. I had to start somewhere and that was with......
Just One Step a Zimmer Frame and a Half a Cup of Tea.
You see I was on such high doses of Steroids that I never slept, not for 3 months. I was awake night after night after night it was like slow torture when I knew that sleep is when the body does it's healing but after a brain injury you can't take medication to sleep in case anything happens, the doctors don't know if it is the brain or the medication that is affecting you so you stay awake. the day after surgery I was issued a Zimmer Frame and shown how to use it. My balance was awful and I would fall down a lot because I could not regain my balance at all. My stomach was bad I mean hmmm (windy) and getting bigger with the steroids. In hospital every evening at 2am I would slowly slide out of bed and grab my zimmer and away I went to shuffle around the ward. It would take me the best part of 2 hours to complete and I would end up at the tea machine a few doors away from my room. Have you ever tried to carry a full cup of tea whilst maneuvering a zimmer frame and dragging a completely useless left leg? This is when the first lessons started to kick in and well I realised that after a week of spilling most of my tea by the time I got back to my room that I may as well get half a cup and move more quickly so that my tea was still warm when I arrived back at my bed. It sounds crazy but the energy that you need when you have paralysis in your limbs is incredible the effort and concentration to perform even the smallest task is immense but these small successes would make me laugh inside and were the driver for me to keep on going. The shocking truth is that I really thought I would be ok in a few weeks? How wrong I was, it would take 6 years of rehabilitation and physio and training to gain back some of my movement and another 4 years to really get my body back into shape. Despite being left with epilepsy from the tumor my life moved on and I had an abundance of adventures along the way that lifted me and also floored me literally with the feelings of failure but the one thing that I always had was a choice to move forwards or stand still. 4 weeks ago I reached my physical goal and won gold when I stepped out on the stage at the UFE European Championships Natural Body Building event in London. It took me 10 years but hey, why put a time limit on these things just know that they will happen when the time is right.
Stories like this are what shape you. Being completely aware of your vulnerabilities can bring about enormous strength in a person without them realising how powerful their history is in shaping their future.
Coaching is my passion and creating the illusion, if that is necessary to engage a person then yes I can do that but I would rather work with clients who want the real deal and realise I am unique and that is actually just the way I like it.
You can choose your direction. In your health, you career and any area of your life. You just have to take the first step.
1. You can move forwards.
2. You can stay still or
3. You can continue to move backwards and check that you can still access the events in your life that trigger extremes, negativity, blame, emotional behavior and limiting beliefs.
4 Simple Steps to get moving.
1. Identify the problem - really get to the bare bones of what it is not what you think it might be (don't kid yourself) is it fatigue, bloating, just feel unwell, always tired, restless, irritable, digestive issues, overweight, weakness, overcoming sickness.
2. Write down how it affects you, how it affects your family, how it affects your employer or employees? Every little detail
3. What do you want the outcome to be when things change? What would you life look and feel like if you made the changes? who would benefit if you started to make a difference?
4. Make the decision, are you moving forwards or standing still?
I know which direction I am moving in and I would like to take you with me on that journey.
If it is personal you can contact me today if you are at a time in your life where you want to change. Where your daily actions are impacting on your and your families health and well being and one day you will not have a choice to change you will be forced to make changes.
In business high levels of stress, poor diet, long hours, environment and little personal time out often impact on the health of employers and employees.
I can help you and your staff to begin changing your habits. To take a step closer to a healthier more energetic and sustainable lifestyle that will support you and your business. The upside is you will also look and feel amazing. If you or a group of you at work would like to Join me for my 30 Day Challenge Starting on 5th November contact me today.
* Look and feel fitter
* Lose the bloat
* Improve your skin
* Increase your energy
* Stop the cravings
* Rest your digestion
* Start your weight loss Journey
Contact me by email if you would like to discuss working with me on your own transformation.