The voice in my head said "On Your Bike" it was Fear that made me do just that.......
Last week was a turning point for me. You know when sometimes you get to a point where you realise you have been avoiding doing something and you wonder why? Well I have held on to my own personal fears for too long and as a Personal Coach and Trainer I work with clients daily to let go of their fears Wednesday 23rd August 2017 seemed like a good time for me to practice a little more of what I preach.
Don't get me wrong fear has a really important part to play in our daily lives, without it we would not know when we were facing danger and our reactions would be compromised in difficult situations because we would fail to see or do something that would potentially help us and those around us. Fear is in fact our friend. Let me give you an example.
So as I was saying last week I woke up on Wednesday and decided that I was going to ride my bike. Wow I can hear some sharp intakes of breath here and not because you are impressed..... Well you should be impressed but seriously I don't really care if you acknowledge the accomplishment just that you continue reading, really it will be worth it...
My bike has been gathering dust ever since I bought it which was around 4 years ago. When I first bought my bike I saw freedom, freedom to get around and be active in a way I hadn't been able to for a long time. So last week I took the cover off my bike and smiling thought yes I am off today I will ride my bike. I was shaking as I said it and I felt really scared, I mean real fear, my mind started to tell me it was a really stupid idea, my legs were shaking and I was thinking that perhaps I would do it another day, It was the fear that made me put on my helmet, check my tyres and taking a deep breath I took my bike out to the road.
So here the fun begins. I had to work out how I was going to do this the coordination alone was exhausting but I also wanted to be safe. I decided to cycle along to a proper cycle path that leads down to the seafront, I know that this stretch would be the best place for me to gain my confidence and off I went. When I reached traffic lights I put my feet down and checked what was around me. My heart racing and my body was so tense but I wanted to do this so badly.
I cycled along to the Hove Lagoon along the seafront and it took me to a stretch where I would have had to cycle along the main road, I didn't think I was ready for that so I turned back and headed along the seafront again but this time something was different. I had the biggest smile on my face but I also had tears because you know I did something that I thought I would never be able to do confidently again and this was another first step.
I would be an expert on a bike if all of the turns were right turns, it is the left turns that are challenging and something that I have to work on. You see since my Brain Tumour I have had to regain the use of my left leg and there are still muscles that don't work or are weak and not connected to my neurological pathways. This presents its own challenges and I have found a way of walking, running and moving that allows me to continue to train, be active and wear my high heels.......
For the time being I will practice, practice, practice and yes I will still be fearful but as I said before it is the fear that pushes me to ride that bike and without that fear I don't think I would ever have done that again.
Sometimes in life we have to face the fear and welcome it. Fear is not to be feared you will know when there is a real problem it is called instinct. Pay attention to the difference, start to notice when you feel your fears and engage with it, you might find that like me it pushes you forward and not backwards. In order to improve or move forward you have to take action and only you can do that. Small actions can bring about big rewards. So the next time you feel the fear ask yourself can this make the changes that I want? Will this bring about a new challenge, is this my left turn?
Be a warrior it is so much more fun.........